A Stale Mate

It was a beautiful beginning. Remember the steak and lobster dates with splashes of fine wine and great desserts. You never saw the bill. His pockets were deep. Then there were the long evening walks on the warm sandy beaches. Nights you thought would never end. But most memorable of all could be his thoughtfulness. He wanted to make every day special for you.

So five years down the road you ask where did all that go? Because now - to him, walking on the beach seems like a daunting time-wasting task. Dinners out are deemed unnecessary expenses. And every day seems to echo the day before –a monotonous routine of rolling over toward opposite sides of the bed. What you have here, my dear, is a stale mate. Like bread festering in the corner of the breadbox waiting to be fed to the ducks at the nearby park – stale.

Things can get stale when they sit for too long without attention. But just as the ducks find nourishment in the crumbs, so will someone else looking for the crumbs of your mate. They just want SOMETHING, just like the ducks they will take anything. So do you toss them out into the murky pond water or do you make croutons for yourself, sprinkle them on a fresh salad and chomp down? If both you and your mate are not willing to put the adventure and excitement back in the relationship, you can bet the sparks won’t just reappear like a lightning strike.

The Cinderella Syndrome

I remember when I used to hang out with my girls in high school and attend high school parties. We would stand on the wall waiting for the right boy to come over and ask us to dance. I remember that there was a boy in a neighboring town that I really loved from a distance. He never spoke to me or noticed me, but I knew just about everything about him. I was waiting for him to approach me, say hello and ask me out on a date. Well, that never happened. And, now over 30 years later he is saying, “YOU SHOULD’VE SAID HELLO.”

Today, more and more women are finding themselves seeking out partners through online matchmaking sites, social networking sites, and speed dating events. Women are more aggressive about finding a mate through non traditional sources. No longer are we sitting around waiting for the man to place the glass slipper on our feet to see if it fits. So has the Cinderella-cycle been broken completely? Right here is when I want to quote a psychiatrist from one of the Ivy-league schools who has done some significant study on the topic, “Well, studies show that because women are making more money, and significant strides financially, academically, and professionally, they are the decision makers. They are making the decision on who will be their mate. So they are more likely to be holding that glass slipper.” – but those are my words.

Testimonial: I have friends who have found success through non-traditional methods and, I say, whatever works for you… you have to do it.

Climbing High Mountains

You travel to some exotic land to climb the highest mountain in the world. You are aware of the treacherous weather conditions, the energy it's going to take, and all the risks involved, but you still want to climb. So you embark on the journey of a lifetime. When you get to the top of the mountain, are you fufilled? You look around, look down, reflect on the journey and then think about how easy it will be to descend. Are relationships like climbing mountains with no peaks? Or when you get to the peak, is it all downhill from there? I have no idea... I think most people are still climbing.

Monogamy is Dead

If is looks like a duck, quacks like a duck… chances are, it’s a duck.

The writing was well on the wall when McNair, ex-professional NFL player was found dead with a then “unknown woman” – later to discover she was his lover. He was married with four children… hmmm. And so was Governor Sanford of South Carolina, married with children. And so was Clinton, and every basketball player, football player, actor, athelete, politician, guy next door?

How come women never get wrapped up in this stuff? Are women just more clever? Or are women victims of male ego and greed?

photo courtesy of TMZ as you can see from the watermark

What Are You Waiting For?

Scenario: You and your man split, but you're still waiting for the closure that will never come. What do you do? How do you move on and let go? Letting go is a process so just deal with that concept and you'll be fine. But don't sit around waiting for ANYTHING. Let the process and time do it's work!

Third Eye

Sometimes people have to step outside of the traditional roles they have established with each other and allow the third eye wisdom to come forward ---so those things that they may not normally be able express to each other as mates, as siblings or any other close relationship can be brought into the spotlight.

Solid as a Rock

There are many types of love in this world. For some people loving is complicated. For some people it’s easy, unconditional.

And for some it may be impossible love beyond the scars of yesterday.

Of course there are those people who fall between the types – creating their own definition of love.

As I travel along my lovely journey I see so many examples of love between mates around me. And each one is different.

But what makes love solid?